Translation of the article above:
A magazine called
I feel bad but the reporter’s name is unknown and most likely this is the MAY issue of
Title of the Article: Fun, Fearless Female
Words next to her picture: About jealousy that pierces GHS
She is a petit actress with a face right out of a romantic manga and has recently started to publicize her many talents. However, (for a young person) she has been walking a very difficult road all along. She has never been without the criticism about her acting skills and about roles that she played; groundless personal attacks have also been numerous. Yet GHS energetically and bravely makes her own flowers bloom (i.e. even if others may put her down, she continually and energetically work hard to achieve her goals.). So, how can anybody be jealous of her?
R= Reporter
G=GHS
R: It has not been a week since the BOF has ended. How have you been? I would imagine it would be difficult to pull yourself out of Jandi mode?
G: Actually I have been very busy. I had to prepare for the exhibition of my oil paintings. I have also been busy due to the recently published novel. I have also been going crazy trying to put a finishing touch to my upcoming New Age album.
R: Just being an actress itself can be so time-consuming. What is your reason for moving your other activities to the frontline? Greed is too simple an explanation since your schedule/deadline is way too tightly crammed.
G: To be truthful, my dream is to become a movie director. To become a competent director, I must experience various areas such as music, drawing, screen writing and I also must know a lot about them very well. That is why I have taken up these other activities. It might appear as if I am aimlessly trying everything. However, it is not a deviation or digression but my attempt to work towards becoming a film director. That is my honest truth.
R: Why a director?
G: I really want to draw, but I also want to write and compose music. So I did them all and felt that I could not devote myself to just one thing. Then, a friend who knew of my situation said, “you should become a director.” (I swear GHS is talking about her late friend and a great mentor Jung Seung Hae. Don’t you think so?). All of a sudden, it dawned on me that a PD career would enable me to incorporate and mix everything I love to do into one bundle. While making my short film last year, I was more than ever convinced that directing is what I want to do. It was very hard making the movie, yet I saw myself feeling energized even without any sleep!
R: I really wonder if most people would easily accept your explanation. People will argue that you are just reaping the profit off of your current popularity by doing all these activities while others may view your work adequate through colored glasses.
G: Of course, there is bound to be criticisms and negativity. If it were me, I would never look at someone trying many different things through colored glasses. I would see them as is---ahh, that person is trying many different things. I hope that people would try to see me as just that.
R:I have been thinking about your history in the industry. Perhaps many people are biased towards you due to feelings of jealousy. You have been criticized because they say you easily came to fame due to your ulzzang status. Every time you would start a project, endless criticism immediately followed for your chosen role or for your acting ability. Even with BOF, you were again criticized and even more so out of jealousy. I fear that you will again be faced with so much negativity not only for your recently published book but also for your upcoming musical CD.
G: I have a personality that does not dwell on other people’s feelings of jealousy. Even if some may be jealous, I feel it is temporary. When I turn 30 or 40, everything that I have done will be recorded with their results. As long as people are stimulated or motivated through me, whether it is by feelings of jealousy or by some hope and inspiration, I feel it is a good thing in the end.
I was also stimulated and motivated by other people who have helped me to move and shape my own reality. I guess “jealousy” can also be restated as “bias or prejudice”. Sunbaes that I respect have cautioned me about bias and prejudice. It is a human condition that cannot be broken through just by verbal explanation. They have advised me instead to act and implement my beliefs and thoughts instead of only trying to explain my situation. (Maybe this is why she acts and implements without publicity –she acts quietly, thoughtfully and deligently. We often find out about her much later, don’t we?) I strongly trust in their advice to me. I am not trying to gain wealth and fame by trying variety of things. It is just that I like people and I want to be able to communicate and understand each other. People may misinterpret what I do as my attempt to brag and show off. Perhaps such misunderstanding is the root of bias and prejudice.
R: Be honest now. You must have felt unjustly criticized sometimes. I mean, misunderstanding and antipathy persistently followed your career so repulsively.
G: Maybe if those who have such ill feelings and jealousy towards me were able to sit down and chat with me a little, maybe they would feel a bit differently. Many entertainers use the TV, media and internet to continually have contact with the people. However, if you are not active, you can be isolated and maybe put aside. So, in addition to acting, I am starting new activities. This is only the start, however, as time passes, I am positive that we will get used to each other. (GHS is very positive and, wow, what a strong personality and what a unique way of looking at things!)
R: While you were acing in historical dramas, criticisms were at its highest.
G: Yes, especially during the time of
R: I am sure you have a lot to say about the criticisms that you received for BOF’s Geum Jandi.
G: I have heard that many people just could not understand the Jandi character. They just could not comprehend how Goo Joon Pyo can end up loving someone like Jandi who is neither attractive nor lovable. However, the beauty of the story is that GJP is that much of an attractive character because he loves someone as unlovable and unattractive as GJD. If I were GJP, I would have chosen Jae Kyung over GJD. However, if he did choose Jae Kyung, I would think the audience would have felt betrayed as well? The fact that GJP loves the unlovable GJD is the core point of the fantasy story. That is why, I strongly believed that I could not play GJD as pretty or lovable. That is why I already expected to hear even before the drama started that people will complain about Jandi/GHS: “why is GHS like that? GJD makes me so frustrated, etc”. Even the BOF performers talked among us about it: “what is wrong with GJD’s character?, why would GJP and YJH like such a character?” The result is: “Just because she is Jandi.” She has many faults and her personality may have limit, but we were loyal to the original manga and to the script and therefore I have no regrets about my acting the role.
R: Someone reading this interview may have this to say: “What is this! Is GHS saying that her acting was perfect?”
G: I do not have much self-confidence. I can be so critical and hard on myself on top of so little self-confidence that I would overwhelm myself. It was difficult for me to accept and empathize with myself. Always afraid and always conscious of other people’s opinions of me—that was me. Then, someone confronted me: “Without believing in yourself, how do you expect to do a good job as an actress? If you act the role as Jandi in that state of confidence, you do not have to be shaken by people’s criticisms. You must get yourself centered and concentrate on reaching that finish line only. That is enough. Instead of thinking that you must only reach for sympathy and love from people, try instead that, as an actress, your job is to portray various life’s expressions. That’s it. And you must go with a belief in yourself.” From then on, I decided never to judge myself based on what other people say. (Wow)
R: I assume it is not easy living as an actress.
G: Yes. This may be an extreme example. If a male actor proclaims to do certain great project, people may say, “Oh, sure he can do that.” But if a female actor does the same thing, people may react with, “Is she crazy?”
R: So, in order to live as an actress, the main point is that one must learn to overcome people’s jealousy?
G: Honestly, there are many times when I would feel hurt by the news and its ripple effects. What is so curious to me is that I have close actor friends who have no “anti’s” at all, for example, like actress Nam Sang Mi. Even I, just one person among her huge followers, feel only love for her. Yet, she carefully monitors and worries over comments and news reports for possible anti-remarks. When I was feeling rejected by the entire nation, I just felt that it is not necessary to go to that extent. While other people may not think too seriously about the issue, I might make it into a bigger issue. (I guess GHS is saying that overcoming obstacles really depends on how we look and interpret things. It really is up to us individuals.)
R: You must have worried about people’s reactions to you while filming BOF. I mean your every move was the interest of the mass public.
G: I tried to view myself from the objective point of view: I was cast as the leading actress. Viewers’rating was good. I got to act with attractive actors. I was very blessed. People acknowledged me through BOF; I was not shut down as an actress. Isn’t that true? There are times when other people may view your situation as happy yet you yourself cannot. There was a time when I could not feel happy because I felt that somebody did not like me, even if that somebody does not know me at all. It was hard to tolerate. However, when I turned around and admitted the reality that not everybody can like me, I felt much better.
R: You did three historical dramas. Do you feel that you have finally found a role suitable for you?
G: Queen Yune and GJD were two opposite dramatic roles. I do feel the need to find the center.
R: I heard in an interview that you were interested in playing a murderer in your next role?
G: Hahaha. I was just saying that in passing and somehow the interview was printed that way. I tend to talk a lot during interviews. At times, the result of the interviews may come out differently than what I intended. I may be asked, “what do you think of KHJ?” I would respond, “He is a good person.” However, the report will say, “GHS likes KHJ.” I guess I am still inexperienced in the area of making public statements. Hahaha. For my next role, I would be interested in playing a bit odd and strange character---like the character that Shim Eun Ha sunbae played in
R: I thought it unusual that you are a member of YG agency when they mainly focus on musicians.
G: I originally went to YG to become a singer. But through HyunSuk Oppa’s persuasion, I started out as an actress. I do not call YG President as president. I just call him Oppa. He is 16 years older than I am but I do not find him difficult to relate. I am not always dignified in front of him. At times, I can be cutesy and childish like a niece to him. Because I met him for work reasons, of course, I cannot talk about everything with him. I had very difficult time at the previous agency that I only worked there for 3 months. At that time, HyunSuk Oppa accepted me when I really did not have any special skills. In a way he took in a poor kid into his agency. I appreciate his free-spirited mind.
R: I heard that, like a true YG talent, you are also preparing for a musical activity.
G: For now, I am trying to get my New Age album out by May. If I am able to make another music album after that, I would love to make a truly energetic and exciting music album---kind of music that would be joyful to me and to others. If I can give some energy to others, that would be enough. I always tell this to myself: “What is life anyway? It’s not like I am going to live for one to two hundred years and I cannot take money to my grave. I might as well enjoy it and at the same time give joy to others. That’s enough.”
R: Now, I need to ask you something about CF’s. After BOF, many of the actors received proposals to do CF’s and I am sure that you must have also received many proposals. However, I feel that you are not doing that many individual CF’s. I even thought maybe it was YG’s decision to not overextend and tire out their star image?
G: I did receive many proposals that wanted to use the image of GJD with her blunt hair cut. There were many food and snack CF proposals. If the CF involved meaningful human interaction or beneficial long-term win-win situation, I may have taken the proposal. However, I made a judgment that it may not be so. After 3 months of using that image, what other image would I be used for? I am sure I could have earned lots of money. But I also was determined not to make poor choices for the sake of money.
R: You don’t have much ambition for money?
G: Yes. I just need enough money not to starve. I do not own any gems or fine articles. I can’t even tell if they are pretty. I bought this bag that I carried over here from the Dong Dae Moon market (a huge public mall where items are sold cheaper than department stores.)
R: Currently your book
G: Although it contains relationships of love, I really did not intend it to be a love story. I wanted it to be a book about conflicts and losing one’s ways. When young, we do not know much about that. But starting about middle school and as we experience adolescence, we start to think more about the reality. Then as we move well into 20’s, all the things that we have been thinking about come in contact with the reality of our lives. I feel as if 20’s and 30’s the peak time range for most conflicts and agony to come forward because we may be caught between reality and ideals and find it hard to come to terms with them. Then in our 40’s and 50’s, I feel that we may choose to either stick with the ideals or become perfectly realistic. At least that is my thought. When we feel lost and conflicted, it is not because we are filthy or bad, but because we still have a corner of our mind invested in the ideals. People who are either idealistic or realistic do not seem to feel conflicted or lost—only those who are stuck in between agonize over them.
R: How did you come to that conclusion?
G: It is because I have felt lost so often. Like most people, sometimes I have felt as if, “ things are so hard that I just want to die.” I was happy when I was young, then why am I unhappy now? When I was young, I was definitely happy. Back then, I was just happy even if I had nothing and when my mom would make me fried eggs. So, since when did I become like this. Then, the answer just came to me.
R: What was the answer?
G: A person that I like has appeared and I want to see him. But, instead, I find myself agonizing over him. It is a situation where I know I cannnot just live on love alone. Then I remember something somebody told me. What lasts in life is the love. If you don’t have money, you can just go out and earn some. But you can’t just go out and buy love.
R: Then, did you actually meet someone that you can love in such a pure way?
G: There are many people that interest me and I could share a meal with. However, I do not feel sure that he is the one. When I meet an opposite sex, I think about marriage. Is he really the one with whom I can have one life till death? Do we have the kind of relationship where I would still love him even if he becomes disabled? When this GHS becomes old and ugly, would he still love me? I may be young and famous now, but is he the kind of person who would love me when I am no longer in that situation? So far, I have never met any man that would make me say YES to all my questions regarding marriage/love. I guess I have only experienced immature kind of love so far. Do you think I am fantasizing too much about marriage?
R:I think it would be great if you meet someone like that. If you do, I really hope that you inform Cosmos magazine.
G: Hahaha. If I get a sense of confirmation about that person, I think I will announce it first. These days there are so many papparazzi photographers who take pictures of stars and I feel that is so wrong. If you are still at the beginning of the relationship and get caught by the camera, it would be like others have told on you as if it is their story. In that case, you cannot even affirm or deny the relationship at that point of dating. I don’t think I would be able to tolerate it if other people’s precious and private emotions are publicized without consent. (you know, I get a feeling she has someone in mind but is not sure yet he is the one and only! Do you?)
R: These days, what type of thoughts do you often have?
G: For what am I working so hard? For whom am I running so hard? Is it for me or not? That type of thoughts,,,Is it just my ambition and would I be able to give up this passion? That kind of thoughts,,,Is this a way to make money or is this something that I really want to do even if I become a bum? That kind of thoughts,,,
R: So did you get any answers?
G: When I was making the short film,
R: I am getting more curious about your movie. Would there be an opportunity to view your movie?
G: After the movie is screened at the Busan Asia Short Film Festival, I hope I can have the film be seen by the general public. Should I tell you bit about the movie? It is about a church that provides death of mercy. It is a fantasy from the outside but a fact inside the film. People who wish to die do not suicide but seek the help of a priest. In that world, the priest represents God. People may believe that it is God who saves their souls but, in the end, it is the actions of people.
R: I think it might be hard for people to understand.
G: Yes, it is quite abstract. If you ask me why I chose such a topic, I cannot say. The idea just came to me. He just came to me. Hohoho.
R: You really seem to fit the description of multitalented.
G: I do not possess strong reasoning ability. I am just terrible with anything related to numbers. My sense of space is distorted that I often drop things while eating. I am also disorganized. If I did not become an entertainer, I probably would have been a perfect crazy person. I really have lots of inadequacies. I simply chose my profession well.
R: At the end of interviews, I often ask what do you expect to be doing in 5 to 10 years. However, today, I feel like asking something different.
G: I can’t wait? What is it?
R: You dealt with the issue of death in your film. You dealt with separations and good-byes in your novel and the need to accept reality. So, I want to ask you how do you want to die?
G: Whenever I am faced with choices, I often ask myself this question: “If I die at this juncture, would I regret this choice?” I tend to be very active and progressive when it comes to love. If I do fall for someone, I do say directly, “let’s love”. It is too sad to wait until the last minute to say I love you. So, whatever I choose to do in my life, I often think about the moment of death. I do not want to have regrets over things I could have done. At the moment of death,,,I hope that I am not physically tormented or mentally unstable. Except for the memory of love that you treasure, what else is left at the end? If I am lucky, I want to die after reflecting on how I have lived. I don’t think about who will cry for me if I die,,,because, when I die, the world ends. (When she is serious, she is serious. When she is having fun, she really has fun. There seems to be nothing unclear or fuzzy or hesitating in her concept of life. One life to live, live without regrets---I love it!)
R: Suddenly I feel so sad,,,
G: Ahh! We should have had this interview over drinks! (she is so cool! I cannot help but love who she is!
cre: susamerica@soompi.com, + as labeled
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